The Twilight Saga 5: Midnight Sun 12. Complications

Complications, Jacob read. I dont manakinred the sound of that.Im certain its non as bad as it sounds, Bella shrugged.Bella and I walked silently to biology. I was sifting to focus myself on the moment, on the girl be nerve me, on what was actu all in ally and solid, on anything that would keep Alices deceitful, stringentingless visions unwrap of my head.Its non meaningless, Jacob muttered, dont underestimate it.We passed Angela Weber, lingering on the sidewalk, discussing an assignment with a son from her Trigonometry class. I scanned her judgments perfunctorily, expecting more disappointment, single to be surprised by their wistful tenor.Ah, so at that place was something Angela extremityed. Unfortunately, it wasnt something that could be well pay-wrapped.She must bid the guy, Bella tell.This should be interesting, Jacob chuckled.It will notwithstanding work if the guy akins her dorsum though, Bella said.But Angela is cool who wouldnt like her, Jacob said.I entangle strangely comforted for a moment, hearing Angelas black yearning. A genius of kinship that Angela would never live on well-nigh passed through me, and I was, in that second, at peerless with the variety show human girl.What does he mean by that your yearning isnt hopeless, Edward Bella huffed.It was inquisitively consoling to know that I wasnt the only unrivaled living out a tragic love story. Heartbreak was e actuallywhere.Argh, Bella groaned. solitary(prenominal) if you keep estimateing that way.In the next second, I was abruptly and thoroughly irritated. Because Angelas story didnt fork over to be tragic. She was human and he was human and the difference that look atmed so insurmount open in her head was ridiculous, truly ridiculous comp atomic number 18d to my take in situation. There was no point in her broken heart. What a wasteful sadness, when there was no valid reason for her not to be with the hotshot she wanted.Yeah, wasteful, Bella muttered, think ing that Edwards was wasteful too, though he did overhear more of a reason to be so cautious. wherefore shouldnt she have what she wanted? Why shouldnt this one story have a happy ending?I wanted to pose her a gift Well, I would defecate her what she wanted. Knowing what I did of human nature, it probably wouldnt even be real difficult. I sifted through the consciousness of the boy beside her, the object of her affections, and he did not seem unwilling, he was erect stymied by the uniform difficulty she was. Hopeless and resigned, the way she was.Come on, people, have faith in yourselves, Jacob said.Bella, however, was thoughtful. She wondered if this was a mirror of how she and Edward felt both of them not fully realizing what they other felt. She was accepted that her book self couldnt have known how often he loved her there was no possible way for her to know that. And she could see clearly that Edward didnt understand how much she lo er however she felt somewhat(predi cate) him.She discontinueped that train of thought as something else seemed to go through her. She was wondering how strongly did she feel about this guy that she had yet to meet and she longed for that meeting to break already. Jacob started reading and then, drawing her concentration back to the book.All I would have to do was plant the suggestionThe plan formed intimately, the script wrote itself without effort on my part. I would need Emmetts help relieve oneselfting him to go along with this was the only real difficulty.Human nature was so much easier to manipulate than vampire nature.Youve got to watch out for this guy, Bells, hes definitely a speciesist, Jacob said.Whatever, Bella rolled her eyeball.I was joyful with my solution, with my gift for Angela. It was a nice diversion from my own problems. Would that mine were as easily fixed.My mood was slightly improved as Bella and I took our seats. maybe I should be more positive. Maybe there was some solution out there f or us that was escaping me, the way Angelas obvious solution was so invisible to her. non likely But why waste time with hopelessness? I didnt have time to waste when it came to Bella. Each second mattered.Mr. Banner entered pulling an quaint TV and VCR. He was skipping through a section he wasnt particularly interested ingenetic disordersby showing a movie for the next three days. Lorenzos Oil was not a very cheerful piece, alone that didnt stop the excitement in the room. No maintains, no test-able material. Three free days. The humans exulted.It sounds kind of boring to me, Bella mumbled and Jacob looked at her oddly.It didnt matter to me, either way. I hadnt been planning on paying any precaution to anything full(a)ly Bella.I did not pull my chair away from hers nowadays, to give myself space to breathe.Instead, I sat close beside her like any normal human would. Closer than we sat inside my car, close enough that the left side of my body felt submerged in the heat from her uncase.I get it Shes hot Jacob said and laughed when Bella blushed and gl ard at him.It was a strange experience, both enjoyable and nerve-racking, but I preferred this to sitting across the table from her. It was more than I was used to, and yet I quickly realized that it was not enough. I was not satisfied. Being this close to her only made me want to be closer still. The pull was stronger the closer I got.I had accused her of existence a attractor for danger. Right now, it felt like that was the literal truth.Bella rolled her eyeball but chuckled at this.I was danger, and, with every inch I allowed myself snuggleer to her, her attraction grew in force.And then Mr. Banner saturnine the lights out.It was odd how much of a difference this made, considering that the lack of light meant little to my eyes. I could still see just as perfectly as before. Every detail of the room was clear.Thats cool, Jacob said. I coveting I could see in the dark like that.So why the choppy s hock of electricity in the air, in this dark that was not dark to me?Shock of electricity? Bella raised an eyebrow. What was he talking about and why did that sack her think of the offshoot time he touched her in the second chapter (the first time he talked to her in the books)?Was it because I knew that I was the only one who could see clearly? That both Bella and I were invisible to the others? Like we were alone, just the two of us, vague in the dark room, sitting so close beside one anotherMy hand moved toward her without my permission. Just to touch her hand, to hold it in the nighttime. Would that be such a horrific mistake? If my skin bothered her, she only had to pull awayI yanked my hand back, folded my arms tightly across my chest and clenched my manpower closed. No mistakes. Id promised myself that I would make no mistakes, no matter how minimal they seemed. If I held her hand, I would only want moreanother insignificant touch, another move closer to her. I could fee l that. A new kind of desire was growing in me, working to all override my self- apply.Jacob and Bella were thinking the comp allowe opposite thing here.No mistakes.Bella folded her arms securely across her own chest, and her hands balled up into fists, just like mine.You feeling this too, arent you? Jacob questioned, and I know it didnt happenYeah, I think I am feeling this, Bella exercise before he could recite any more. I wonder what it means.It seems like youre calling to each other somehow, Jacob said, and then he human activity his sassing. It seemed like some kind of rep allowe(predicate)ual answer that went way beyond human whatever that means.What are you thinking? I was dying to whisper the words to her, but the room was too quiet to get away with even a verbalize conversation.The movie began, lightening the darkness just a number. Bella glanced up at me. She noted the rigid way I held my bodyjust like hersand make a faced. Her lips parted slightly, and her eyes seemed full of warm invitations.Or perhaps I was seeing what I wanted to see.I smiled back her breathing caught with a low gasp and she looked quickly away.That made it worse. I didnt know her thoughts, but I was on the spur of the moment positive that I had been right before, and that she wanted me to touch her. She felt this dangerous desire just as I did.Between her body and mine, the electricity hummed.Bella blushed, still not sure what this all meant, but had a salutary idea. She was also wondering what would happen if he did touch her.She didnt move all through the hour, holding her stiff, controlled pose as I held mine. Occasionally she would peek at me again, and the humming current would jolt through me with a sudden shock.Um stop look at him, Jacob said.I doubt I can help it, Bella said. Besides, hes looking at me nonstop I should be allowed to look too.The hour passedslowly, and yet not slowly enough. This was so new, I could have sat like this with her for days, just to experience the feeling fully.So the electricity was pleasant, Jacob said.Apparently, Bella said evenly, but she was still blushing.I had a dozen dissimilar arguments with myself while the minutes passed, rationality try with desire as I seek to justify poignant her.Finally, Mr. Banner turned the lights on again.In the bright fluorescent light, the atmosphere of the room returned to normal.Bella sighed and stretched, flexing her fingers in front of her. It must have been uncomfortable for her to hold that position for so long. It was easier for mestillness came naturally.So now youre nerve-wracking to mimic the vampires, Jacob said shaking his head, trying to laugh.Well, they are the coolest thing around, Bella smiled when he made a face at that.I chuckled at the relieved expression on her face. Well, that was interesting.Umm, she murmured, clearly understanding what I referred to, but making no comment. What I wouldnt give to hear what she was thinking right now.I would like to know that too, Bella said.I wouldnt have guessed that by your smug expression, Jacob chuckled.I sighed. No amount of wishing was termination to help with that.Both Bella and Jacob were chuckling at that.Shall we? I asked, standing.She made a face and got unsteadily to her feet, her hands splayed out as if she were afraid she was going to fall.I could offer her my hand. Or I could place that hand underneath her elbowjust lightlyand slopped her. originally that wouldnt be such a august infractionNo mistakes.How would that be a mistake? Bella questioned.Even with hearing his thoughts, I cant unfeignedly understand most of his thinking, Jacob shrugged. Though its clear that hes afraid of touching you.She was very quiet as we walked toward the gym. The crease was in evidence between her eyes, a sign that she was deep in thought. I, too, was thinking deeply.One touch of her skin wouldnt hurt her, my selfish side contended.I could easily moderate the pressure of my hand. It wasnt exactly difficult, as long as I was firmly in control of myself. My tactile sense was better developed than a humans I could juggle a dozen crystal goblets without breaking any of them I could stroke a soap bubble without popping it. As long as I was firmly in controlAnd youre always in control, so it will be fine, Bella said.Hes not always in control weve seen him out of control, Jacob said anxiously.Bella just frowned at that and Jacob read on.Bella was like a soap bubblefragile and ephemeral. Temporary.How long would I be able to justify my presence in her life? How much time did I have? Would I have another chance like this chance, like this moment, like this second?She would not always be within my arms reachBella turned to face me at the gyms admission, and her eyes widened at the expression on my face. She didnt sing. I looked at myself in the reflection of her eyes and saw the conflict raging in my own. I watched my face change as my better side scattered the argument.Who s to say what the better said is, Edward? Bella mumbled to herself but Jacob heard.My hand lifted without a conscious command for it to do so. As gently as if she were made of the thinnest glass, as if she were fragile as a bubble, my fingers stroked the warm skin that covered her cheekbone. It heated under my touch, and I could feel the pulse of blood speed beneath her plain skin.Enough, I ordered, though my hand was aching to act upon itself to the side of her face. Enough.He doesnt sound too controlled now, Jacob muttered.Hes touch is gentle its not hurting me, Bella said.But his attend doesnt seem to have control over his actions, Jacob countered. His instincts do.And what instinct is he following now? Bella raised her eyebrows. Its not to hurt me.Right, Jacob mumbled, but there still is an instinct in him that wants to hurt you dont forget that.I wont, Bella sighed. But that isnt the only instinct he has towards me now.It was difficult to pull my hand back, to stop myself fr om moving closer to her than I already was. A thousand different possibilities ran through my mind in an instanta thousand different ways to touch her. The tip of my finger tracing the shape of her lips. My palm cupping under her chin. Pulling the clip from her hair and letting it spill out across my hand. My arms winding around her waist, holding her against the continuance of my body.Enough.I forced myself to turn, to move away from her. My body moved stiffly unwilling.I let my mind linger behind to watch her as I walked swiftly away, almost running from the temptation. I caught Mike Newtons thoughtsthey were the sportyestwhile he watched Bella walk past him in oblivion, her eyes unfocused and her cheeks red. He glowered and suddenly my name was mingled with curses in his head I couldnt help grinning slightly in response.Too bad Mikey, Jacob said, trying to chuckle again.My hand was tingling. I flexed it and then curled it into a fist, but it continued to sting painlessly.No, I hadnt hurt herbut touching her had still been a mistake.It felt like firelike the thirsting burn of my throat had spread throughout my entire body.The next time I was close to her, would I be able to stop myself from touching her again? And if I touched her once, would I be able to stop at that?Yes, Bella answered, there was no doubt in her, though Jacob wasnt totally convinced.No more mistakes. That was it. Savor the memory, Edward, I told myself grimly, and keep your hands to yourself. That, or I would have to force myself to leavesomehow. Because I couldnt allow myself near her if I insisted on making errors.I took a deep breath and tried to steady my thoughts.Emmett caught up to me outside the English building.Hey, Edward. Hes looking better. Weird, but better. Happy.Ah and him being happy is weird, Jacob chuckled.Hey, Em. Did I look happy? I supposed, despite the chaos in my head, I felt that way.Way to keep your mouth shut, kid. Rosalie wants to rip your tongue out.I like to see her try and then get beaten down, Jacob chuckled.Thats not very nice, Bella glared at him and he shrugged.I sighed. Sorry I left you to cut with that. Are you angry with me?Naw. Rosell get over it. It was bound to happen anyway. With what Alice sees comingDont reference work that, Jacob flinched.Alices visions were not what I wanted to think about right now. I stared forward, my teeth locking together.As I searched for a distraction, I caught sight of Ben Cheney entrance the Spanish room ahead of us. Ahhere was my chance to give Angela Weber her gift.Ben Cheney, Bella mumbled and got out her year book to look at him. He was cute enough, though not her type at all. Still she studied the video recording, if Angela and Ben liked each other she wanted them to be together in this reality, too. She thought that things might be different now that she knew what Edward was thinking about her, so she might have to be the one to help Ben and Angela out argh that wasnt unfeignedly her strong point. Oh well, it will have to happen someway.I stopped walking and caught Emmetts arm. Hold on a second.Whats up?I know I dont deserve it, but would you do me a opt anyway?What is it? he asked, curious.Under my breathand at a speed that would have made the words incomprehensible to a human no matter how loud theyd been spokenI explained to him what I wanted.He stared at me blankly when I was done, his thoughts as blank as his face.That sound interesting, Jacob chuckled.So? I prompted. Will you help me do it?It took him a minute to respond. But, why?Cmon, Emmett. Why not?Who are you and what have you done with my brother?Bella and Jacob both chuckled at this.Arent you the one who complains that school is always the same? This is something a little different, isnt it? Consider it an experimentan experiment in human nature.He stared at me for another moment before he caved. Well, it is different, Ill give you that Okay, fine. Emmett snorted and then shrugged. Ill help you.I g rinned at him, feeling more enthusiastic about my plan now that he was on board. Rosalie was a pain, but I would always owe her one for choosing Emmett no one had a better brother than mine.Aw, Jacob said in teasing component part but Bella smiled at what Edward had just said.Emmett didnt need to practice. I whispered his lines to him once under my breath as we walked into the classroom.Ben was already in his seat behind mine, assembling his homework to hand in.Emmett and I both sat and did the same thing. The classroom was not quiet yet the murmur of subdued conversation would continue until Mrs. Goff called for attention.She was in no hurry, appraising the quizzes from the last class.So, Emmett said, his voice louder than necessaryif he were really speaking only to me. Did you ask Angela Weber out yet?Oh I get it, Jacob said laughing. This should work.The sound of papers rustling behind me came to an abrupt stop as Ben froze, his attention suddenly riveted on our conversation.Ang ela? Theyre talking about Angela?Hm it definitely makes it easy that Edward knows what hes thinking, Bella muttered.Good. I had his interest.No, I said, shaking my head slowly to come in regretful.Why not? Emmett improvised. Are you chicken?I grimaced at him. No. I heard that she was interested in someone else.Edward Cullen was going to ask Angela out? But No. I dont like that. I dont want him near her. Hesnot right for her. Notsafe.You got that right, Jacob chuckled and Bella glared at him. What? You want him to go out with Angela?Dont be ridiculous, Bella rolled her eyes and Jacob laughed louder.I hadnt anticipated the chivalry, the protective instinct. Id been working for jealousy. But whatever worked.Youre going to let that stop you? Emmett asked scornfully, improvising again.Jacob laughed even more at that.Not up for the contention?I glared at him, but made use of what he gave me. Look, I guess she really likes this Ben person. Im not going to try to convince her otherwise. Th ere are other girls.The reaction in the chair behind me was electric.Who? Emmett asked, back to the script.My lab partner said it was some kid named Cheney. Im not sure I know who he is.Thats rude the guys right behind you, Jacob muttered.Um Jake, thats the point, Bella said.I know, Jacob rolled his eyes. Im just saying it makes him sound like a stuck upWhatever, Bella rolled her eyes.I bit back my smile. Only the haughty Cullens could get away with pretending not to know every student at this tiny school.Bens head was whirling with shock. Me? all over Edward Cullen? But why would she like me?Edward, Emmett muttered in a lower tone, rolling his eyes toward the boy.Hes right behind you, he mouthed, so obviously that the human could easily read the words.Oh, I muttered back.Jacob and Bella were laughing at this again.I turned in my seat and glanced once at the boy behind me. For a second, the black eyes behind the glasses were frightened, but then he stiffened and squared his narrow shoulders, affronted by my clearly disparaging evaluation. His chin shot out and an angry iron boot darkened his golden-brown skin.Huh, I said arrogantly as I turned back to Emmett.He thinks hes better than me. But Angela doesnt. Ill show himWell, theres that problem solved, Jacob chuckled.Perfect.Didnt you say she was winning Yorkie to the dance, though? Emmett asked, snorting as he said the name of the boy that some(prenominal) scorned for his awkwardness.That was a group decision apparently. I wanted to be sure that Ben was clear on this. Angelas shy. If Bwell, if a guy doesnt have the nerve to ask her out, shed never ask him.You like shy girls, Emmett said, back to improvisation. Quiet girls. Girls likehmm, I dont know. Maybe Bella Swan?Jacob laughed at this line of teasing as Bella blushed.I grinned at him. Exactly. Then I returned to the performance. Maybe Angela will get tired of postponement. Maybe Ill ask her to the prom.No, you wont, Ben thought, straightening up in hi s chair. So what if shes so much taller than me?Oh its because hes short poor guy, Jacob chuckled.I suppose thats not a problem you have to deal with, Bella said, Jacob seemed pretty tall for his age.Not at all, Jacob said. I think I might even have grown an inch since yesterday.Sure you did, Jake, Bella rolled her eyes.If she doesnt care, then neither do I. Shes the nicest, smartest, prettiest girl in this school and she wants me.I liked this Ben. He seemed bright and well-meaning. Maybe even worthy of a girl like Angela.Well, it looks like therere three humans that he might think highly of, Jacob chuckled.I gave Emmett a thumbs up under the desk as Mrs. Goff stood and greeted the class.Okay, Ill admit itthat was sort of fun, Emmett thought.I smiled to myself, pleased that Id been able to shape one love storys happy ending. I was positive that Ben would follow through, and Angela would receive my anonymous gift. My debt was repaid.How silly humans were, to let a six inch height dif ferential confound their happiness.That is a pretty big difference, Jacob said. That guy must be a midget.Jake Bella reprimanded him.Sorry, Jacob sighed.My success put me in a good mood. I smiled again as I settled into my chair and prepared to be entertained. After all, as Bella had pointed out at lunch, Id never seen her in action in her gym class before.No, Bella groaned and Jacob laughed in anticipation.Mikes thoughts were the easiest to pinpoint in the babble of voices that swarmed through the gym. His mind had gotten far too familiar over the last few weeks. With a sigh, I resigned myself to listening through him. At least I could be sure that he would be paying attention to Bella.I was just in time to hear him offer to be her badminton partner as he made the suggestion, other partnerings ran through his mind. My smile faded, my teeth clenched together, and I had to remind myself that murdering Mike Newton was not a permissible option.Hm Im not so sure about that, Jacob laughe d.Its not, Bella said firmly.Thanks, Mikeyou dont have to do this, you know.Dont baffle, Ill keep out of your way.They grinned at each other, and flashes of numerous accidentsalways in some way connected to Bellaflashed through Mikes head.Jacob started chuckling and Bella groaned. Mike played alone at first, while Bella hesitated on the back half of the court, holding her racket gingerly, as if it was some kind of weapon. Then Coach Clapp ambled by and ordered Mike to let Bella play.Why? Bella moaned, didnt the coach-and-four understand yet?Uh oh, Mike thought as Bella moved forward with a sigh, holding her racquet at an awkward angle.Jennifer crossway served the birdie directly toward Bella with a smug twist to her thoughts. Mike saw Bella lurch toward it, swinging the racket yards wide of her target, and he rushed in to try to save the volley.I watched the trajectory of Bellas racquet with alarm. Sure enough, it hit the taut net and sprung back at her, clipping her forehead bef ore it spun out to contain Mikes arm with a resounding thwack.Jacob was howling with laughed and Bella turned bright red and held her head in her hands. That was a new all time low for her.You really are awful, Jacob choked out some time later.Yeah, yeah, now can you continue reading, Bella tried to sound as if this wasnt bothering her, but she was still red and her voice was too weak to pull that off.Ow. Ow. Ungh. Thats going to leave a bruise.Good, Jacob said, his dying laughter starting again.Bella was kneading her forehead. It was hard to stay in my seat where I belonged, knowing she was hurt. But what could I do, if I were there? And it didnt seem to be serious I hesitated, watching. If she intended to continue to try to play, I was going to have to fabrication an excuse to pull her out of class.Overreaction, Bella rolled her eyes.The coach laughed. Sorry, Newton. That girls the worst jinx Ive ever seen. Shouldnt inflict her on the othersMore laughter for Jacob, but Bella wa s pleased that the coach seemed to get it better now.He turned his back deliberately and moved to watch another pole so that Bella could return to her former spectators role.Ow, Mike thought again, massaging his arm. He turned to Bella. Are you okay?Yeah, are you? she asked sheepishly, blushing.I think Ill make it. Dont want to sound like a crybaby. But, man, that hurtsCrybaby, Jacob laughed.Mike swung his arm in a circle, wincing.Ill just stay back here, Bella said, embarrassment and chagrin on her face rather than pain. Maybe Mike had got the worst of it. I certainly hoped that was the case.At least she wasnt playing anymore. She held her racquet so carefully behind her back, her eyes wide with remorse I had to disguise my laugh as coughing.Whats funny? Emmett wanted to know.You know if you were in Emmetts Gym class, I bet he would have liked you from the first day, Jacob teased.Shut up, Bella hissed at him.Tell you later, I muttered.Bella didnt venture into the game again. The c oach ignored her and let Mike play alone.I breezed through the quiz at the end of the hour, and Mrs. Goff let me go early. I was listening intently to Mike as I walked across the campus. Hed decided to confront Bella about me.Jessica swears theyre dating. Why? Why did he have to pick her?He didnt recognize the real phenomenonthat shed picked me.Dont go overboard with that, Bella rolled her eyes, it was more of a phenomenon that he had picked her after a hundred years after all.So.So what? she wondered.You and Cullen, huh? You and the freak. I guess, if a robust guy is that important to youBella was glaring at the book, she didnt like this assumption at all, but what was really getting to her was how very wrong Mike was Edward was so much more than just a rich guy.I gritted my teeth at his degrading assumption.Thats none of your business, Mike.Defensive. So its true. Crap. I dont like it.You dont have to, she snapped.Why cant she see what a circus sideshow he is? Like they all are.B ella was glaring more at the book than before, not liking his way of thinking at all.The way he stares at her. It gives me chills to watch. He looks at you likelike youre something to eat.Bella and Jacob both tensed a little at that it wasnt good that Mike was able to notice that.I cringed, waiting for her response.Her face turned bright red, and her lips pressed together like she was holding her breath. Then, suddenly, a giggle burst through her lips.You laughed? Jacob looked at her incredulously.Um the irony of that must have gotten to me, Bella said. Im sure it was a nervous laugh if that makes you feel any better.It doesnt, Jacob said and then started reading again.Now shes laughing at me. Great.Mike turned, thoughts sullen, and wandered off to change.I leaned against the gym wall and tried to compose myself.How could she have laughed at Mikes accusationso entirely on target that I began to worry that Forks was becoming too aware Why would she laugh at the suggestion that I coul d kill her, when she knew that it was entirely true? Where was the humor in that?What was wrong with her?Nothings wrong with me, Bella huffed.I beg to differ, Jacob chuckled, though he was giving her an odd look, too.Did she have morbid sense of humor? That didnt fit with my idea of her character, but how could I be sure? Or maybe my daydream of the giddy angel was true in the one respect, in that she had no sense of fear at all. Bravethat was one word for it.Im not brave, Bella mumbled.Others might say stupid,So I guess youre stupid then, Jacob chuckled and Bella glared at him.but I knew how bright she was. No matter what the reason, though, this lack of fear or twisted sense of humor wasnt good for her. Was it this strange lack that put her in danger so constantly? Maybe she would always need me hereJust like that, my mood was soaring.If I could just discipline myself, make myself safe, then perhaps it would be right for me to stay with her.When she walked through the gym doors, her shoulders were stiff and her lower lip was between her teeth againa sign of anxiety. But as soon as her eyes met mine, her rigid shoulders relaxed and a wide smile spread across her face. It was an oddly peaceful expression. She walked right to my side without hesitation, only stopping when she was so close that her body heat crashed over me like a tidal wave.Hi, she whispered.The happiness I felt in this moment was, again, without precedent.Hello, I said, and thenbecause with my mood suddenly so light I couldnt resist teasing herI added, How was gym?Argh did he have to make that? Bella groaned.Yep, Jacob chuckled. Besides, isnt it better that you know hes watching you not as creepy that way at least.Whatever, Bella shrugged.Her smile wavered. Fine.She was a poor liar.True, Jacob and Bella both said.Really? I asked, about to press the issueI was still concerned about her head was she in painbut then Mike Newtons thoughts we so loud they broke my concentration.I hate him. I wish he would die. I hope he drives that shiny car right off a cliff. Why couldnt he just leave her alone? pivot to his own kindto the freaks.What does he mean, his own kind? Jacob asked. He doesnt know that Edward is a vampire.I suppose he means rich? Bella said slowly, not sure of the answer herself. That or he instinctively knows that Edward is different.What? Bella demanded.My eyes refocused on her face. She looked at Mikes retreating back, and then at me again.Newtons getting on my nerves, I admitted.Her mouth fell open, and her smile disappeared. She must have forgotten that Id had the power to watch through her calamitous last hour, or hoped that I hadnt utilized it.More likely the latter, Bella said, after all he had demonstrated that gift quite well during their last few encounters.You werent listening again?Hows your head?Youre unbelievable she said through her teeth, and then she turned away from me and stalked furiously toward the parking lot. Her skin flushed dark redshe w as embarrassed.You got that right, Jacob said.Well, no one asked him to watch me in Gym, Bella grumbled, her clumsiness was always a crank spot for her.I kept pace with her, hoping that her anger would pass soon. She was usually quick to forgive me.You were the one who mentioned how Id never seen you in Gym, I explained. It made me curious.She didnt answer her eyebrows pulled together.She came to a sudden halt in the parking lot when she realized that the way to my car was blocked by a crowd of male students.I wonder how fast theyve gone in this thingLook at the SMG shift paddles. Ive never seen those outside of a magazineNice side grillsSure wish I had sixty thousand dollars laying aroundUm Jacob do you want me to leave, Bella chuckled as Jacob was practically drooling at the description of the car.No, but I want you to get me into the Cullen garage sometime in the future, Jacob said.You do realize thats Rosalies car Bella said smirking.Argh, Jacob groaned. Why did you have to rem ind me of that?This was exactly why it was better for Rosalie to only use her car out of town.I wound through the throng of lustful boys to my car after a second of hesitation, Bella followed suit.Ostentatious, I muttered as she climbed in.What kind of car is that? she wondered.An M3.She frowned. I dont speak Car and Driver.Come on, Bella Jacob groaned. You should know that at least.Sorry, Bella shrugged, chuckling at his behavior.Its a BMW. I rolled my eyes and then focused on backing out without running anyone down. I had to lock eyes with a few boys that didnt seem willing to move out of my way. A half-second meeting my compliments seemed to be enough to convince them.Is that car really that special? Bella rolled her eyes.Jacob just stared at her incredulously.I guess it is, Bella mumbled.Are you still angry? I asked her. Her frown had relaxed.Definitely, she answered curtly.I sighed. Maybe I shouldnt have brought it up. Oh well. I could try to make amends, I supposed. Will you forgive me if I apologize?She thought about that for a moment. Maybeif you mean it, she decided.And if you promise not to do it again.Dont hold your breath, Jacob chuckled.I know thats never going to happen, Bella chuckled too.I wasnt going to lie to her, and there was no way I was agreeing to that. Perhaps if I offered her a different exchange.How about if I mean it, and I agree to let you drive this Saturday? I cringed internally at the thought.Oh that works, Bella said.The furrow popped into existence between her eyes as she considered the new bargain. Deal, she said after a moment of thought.Now for my apology Id never tried to dazzle Bella on purpose before, but now seemed like a good time.Oh great, Bella mumbled, blushing already. The thought of him actually trying to dazzle her was too much for her.I stared deep into her eyes as I drove away from the school, wondering if I was doing it right. I used my most persuasive tone.Then Im very sorry I upset you.Her heartbeat thudded louder than before, and the rhythm was abruptly staccato.Her eyes widened, looking a little stunned.I half-smiled. It seemed like Id gotten it right. Of course, I was having a bit of difficulty looking away from her eyes, too. Equally dazzled. It was a good thing I had this road memorized.What? Bella said, snapping out of her daze she liked thinking of them both being dazzled by each other but still, Hes not even looking at the roadBut he has it memorized thats just as good, Jacob laughed at her expression.That is not good at all Bella snapped, note to self, no dazzling in the car um while its moving at least.And Ill be on your door bright and early Saturday morning, I added, finishing the agreement.She blinked swiftly, shaking her head as if to clear it. Um, she said, it doesnt help with the Charlie situation if an unexplained Volvo is left in the driveway.Hes not going to take his car, Bella said, how little she understood him in this book.Ah, how little she still knew me. I wasn t intending to bring a car.Bella blinked at that and then smiled, it was nice knowing they could think alike.How she started to ask.I interrupted her. The answer would be hard to explain without a demonstration, and now was hardly the time. Dont worry about it. Ill be there, no car.She put her head on one side, and looked for a second like she was going to press for more, but then she seemed to change her mind.Is it later yet? she asked, reminding me of our unfinished conversation in the cafeteria today shed let go of one difficult question just to return another that was more unappealing.Yeah, isnt that nice of her, Jacob chuckled.I suppose it is later, I agreed unwillingly.I parked in front of her house, tensing as I tried to think of how to explainwithout making my monstrous nature too evident, without frightening her again. Or was that wrong? To minimalize my darkness?She waited with the same politely interested mask shed worn at lunch. If Id been less anxious, her preposterous calm would have made me laugh.And you still want to know why you cant see me hunt? I asked.Well, mostly I was wondering about your reaction, she said.Did I frighten you? I asked, positive that she would deny it.No.I tried not to smile, and failed. I apologize for scaring you. And then my smile vanished with the momentary humor. It was just the very thought of you being therewhile we hunted.Jacob shivered at that.That would be bad?The mental picture was too muchBella, so vulnerable in the empty darkness myself, out of control I tried to banish it from my head.Well, you dont have to send it our way, Jacob snapped.Extremely.BecauseI took a deep breath, concentrating for one moment on the burning thirst. Feeling it, managing it, proving my dominion over it. It would never control me againI willed that to be true. I would be safe for her. I stared at the welcome clouds without seeing them, wishing I could believe that my determination would make any difference if I were hunting when I cr ossed her scent.When we huntwe give ourselves over to our senses, I told her, thinking through each word before I spoke it. Govern less with our minds. Especially our sense of smell. If you were anywhere near me when I lost control that wayJacob and Bella both shivered at that. No, she could definitely never see him hunt.I shook my head in agony at the thought of what wouldnot what could, but what wouldsurely happen then.I listened to the spike in her heartbeat, and then turned, restless, to read her eyes.Bellas face was composed, her eyes grave. Her mouth was pursed just slightly in what I guessed was concern. But concern for what? Her own safety? Or my anguish? I continued to stare at her, trying to translate her ambiguous expression into sure fact.Your anguish, Im sure, Jacob mumbled. She puts others before herself.You dont have to make it sound like a bad thing, Bella sighed.She gazed back. Her eyes grew wider after a moment, and her pupils dilated, though the light had not chan ged.My breathing accelerated, and suddenly the quiet in the car seemed to be humming, just like in the darkened biology room this afternoon. The pulsing current raced between us again, and my desire to touch her was, briefly, stronger even than the demands of my thirst.Um this really is pretty freaky, Jacob muttered and Bella rolled her eyes, curious to know what this really meant.The throbbing electricity made it feel like I had a pulse again. My body sang with it. Like I was human. More than anything in the world, I wanted to feel the heat of her lips against mine. For one second, I struggled desperately to fall upon the strength, the control, to able to put my mouth so close to her skinBella froze in place waiting in anticipation heart hammering.Jacob shifted uncomfortably and was wary about how dangerous that would be.She sucked in a ragged breath, and only then did I realize that when I had started breathing faster, she had stopped breathing altogether.I closed my eyes, trying to break the connection between us.No more mistakes.Bella sighed sadly.Bellas existence was tied to a thousand delicately balanced chemical processes, all so easily disrupted. The rhythmic expansion of her lungs, the flow of oxygen, was life or death to her. The fluttering cadence of her fragile heart could be stopped by so many stupid accidents or illnesses orby me.I did not believe that any member of my family would hesitate if he or she were offered a chance backif he or she could mass immortality for mortality again. Any one of us would stand in fire for it. Burn for as many days or centuries as were necessary.But you cant go back, Bella said sadly, which meant that if they were ever going to be equal she would have to changeMost of our kind prized immortality above anything else. There were even humans who craved this, who searched in dark places for those who could give them the blackest of giftsNot us. Not my family. We would trade anything to be human.Right, Jacob said, an d he believed what Edward was saying, it really did explain why they did what they did.But none of us had ever been as desperate for a way back as I was now.I stared at the microscopic pits and flaws in the windshield, like there was some solution hidden in the glass. The electricity had not faded, and I had to concentrate to keep my hands on the wheel.My right hand began to sting without pain again, from when Id touched her before.Bella, I think you should go inside now.She obeyed at once, without comment, getting out of the car and shutting the door behind herself. Did she feel the potential for disaster as clearly as I did?Um Im sure I felt the electricity and noticed that you dont want to touch me, Bella sighed, Im probably just following your lead.Did it hurt her to leave, as it hurt me to let her go? The only solace was that I would see her soon. Sooner than she would see me. I smiled at that, then rolled the window down and leaned across to speak to her one more timeit was sa fer now, with the heat of her body outside the car.She turned to see what I wanted, curious.Still curious, though shed asked me so many questions today.Oh therere so many more questions I have for you, Bella said.My own curiosity was entirely unsatisfied answering her questions today had only revealed my secretsIt looks like hes thinking the same thing, Jacob chuckled.Id gotten little from her but my own conjectures. That wasnt fair.Oh, Bella?Yes?Tomorrow its my turn.Her forehead puckered. Your turn to what?Ask the questions. Tomorrow, when we were in a safer place, surrounded by witnesses, I would get my own answers. I grinned at the thought, and then I turned away because she made no move to leave. Even with her outside of the car, the echo of the electricity zinged in the air. I wanted to get out, too, to walk her to her door as an excuse to stay beside herNo more mistakes. I hit the gas, and then sighed as she disappeared behind me. It seemed like I was always running toward Bel la or running away from her, never staying in place. I would have to find some way to hold my ground if we were ever going to have any peace.Well, thats most definitely true, Bella said. I wonder what hes going to ask me.Well, it looks like youre going to have to wait a long time to figure out, Jacob said putting the book down.Why? Bella said looking at the clock, it was nine. We still have some time.Thats not why, Jacob chuckled. Its because that was the end of the book.What? Bella said. That cant be the end there so much more I dont know what happensSorry, Bells, thats it, Jacob shrugged.Is there at note or anything like that? Bella asked, picking up the book and noticing a small note and readIm sorry that this was all that I could give you, but this was all I could write before you got to school. But there is no need to worry your story goes on for a long time after this.Bella frowned as she read this, how could this person end the book here but promise that there is a lot more f or her to find out? Who is this SM person?Um Im not sure, but its the person that left me the note in the first place, Jacob said.Yeah, I figured, Bella rolled her eyes.So um what do we do now? Jacob asked.Im not sure, Bella said.But youre planning on meeting this Edward guy for real, arent you, Jacob said.Of course, Bella looked at him suspiciously. He had promised at one time that he wouldnt let that happen. She hoped he had changed his mind because there was no way she would allow that.And how do you plan on meeting him at first? Jacob questioned.Um Bella said, she didnt think of that but he was right the first meeting really was something that she had to think about Edward was, after all going to be deathly attracted to her. I suppose well just have to think of something.